Perverts Again: Perverts Again are the same band members as cruelster, only they each handed off their instrument clockwise, or perhaps counterclockwise, depending on where in the room you are standing. and you will be standing in a room, because these perverts don't play outdoor gigs. the bass was traded with singer. the drum was traded with guitarist. now you have perverts again, which sounds like rap and pop with a little bit of post-punk sprinkled on top, like a sawdust-ass-muffin. they are perverts and they are back again, and they will return again and again, all over again... their track is the title track because i came up with the idea for this comp so i am allowed to do that god damn it.
Know-So: Know-So is three teens from Parma who decided to strain their throats, buy a guitar strap, and see what the hell would happen when they plugged their dingy secondhand gear into a state-of-the-art four-track recorder. it turns out it sounded a lot like this. Know-So are currently in prison for having done to much damage to the city of Parma. if you know Parma, you know it has a big polish population. they also have a popular donut place. well it turns out Know-So bombed the donut place (relax they helped rebuild it) and then they cursed every polish person in parma. it was just a big racist joke, but the police dont like curses, so they are in jail right now. one of the band members is also a murderer sh i dont think i'll tell if you dont, but lets get them out of prison. bail is pretty cheap, like a dozen dollars maybe?
Kid Gone Crazy: he will fuck up your entire world. he will grab you by your shoulders, scream in your face, pour his spit from his wet tongue to your snotty nose, and he will make you insane, mad, crazy. the kid will rip off his shirt and jump from bed to bed until he has found the orphan he would like to attack. the attacks arent that bad but i dont think you should fight back. he wrote this song about a recent experience in which he was invited to spend the christmas holidays with his family (the Crazys?) and they were just too dumb for him. turns out his cousins just wanted to play and his grandma wanted help cooking? it was pretty terrible for him and we here at turbine piss are just glad he was able to get his thoughts out there through a ravishingly insane track entitled "fucking pudding."
Jymptom: when I found out one of my good friends had a different first name than the one he told everyone, i was shocked to say the least. the real name started with a "j," but luckily he took the cool word "symptom" and gave it a nice old "j" instead of the boring ass "s." he is a nice person with impeccable taste in music. he may describe himself as ambient or drone or even noise, but i am not the person to ask about such things. to me, punk is punk. when i hear jymptom, I hear strains of the iggy and the stooges, or the dolls, hell, even a trace of "The Clash" DNA. its like what joe strummer would be making if he were still around today rip. this song will blow out your ears but to be honest the best thing about it is the shock to your system when youre listening to the comp through and through. the physical copy version, which can be bought at shows or at our bandcamp, has special sound clips that i think enhance this song by a bit but thats not to say jymptom isnt talented in his own right. the title of the song is "figgy pigment"; what does that mean? well, listen to the lyrics and you'll find out fast, chief.
Gummy C: we were in 10th grade sitting in a tight circle of both friends and enemies. i would be lying if i said there wasnt a girl on my mind. she was a emo cheerleader from a neighboring town, and she was an enigma if i ever met one. i wanted her to like me. she said she liked me. so i asked her out over the phone. we talked for three hours, late into the night, never a lull in the conversation. she would get "loopy" when tired, and it was creepy not cute. she would speak as if she just choked down a bottle of liquer, but no her body was just realllly tired. the conversation that night would end, as they would throughout the duration of our relationship, with her falling asleep whilst talking to me. we hung out a couple times but she was always grounded. we were supposed to hang out a lot over winter break but she got grounded for shoplifting. it turned my world upside down. how was i supposed to make the time pass? i spent time with friends. i worked on music. i made life work for the time being, and work it did. we were sitting in a tight circle at a sleepover, the chilly december air not making a fuck on my enjoyment. someone had a beat up acoustic guitar and we played hella scary riffs and rapped over them. we rapped about gummies and sex. there was a new young man, hair long as a herman melville magnum opus, impressive eyebrows, and an irresistable grin. his name was cassin, and he was the best rapper of the night. he earned the rap name "gummy c". years later, we spent many days on the road together, until he went to seattle for a year, until he recently returned with a vengeance and a new song. it wasnt rap but it was gummy c. will gummy c play shows? no! will gummy c make more music? no! is gummy c in other bands? yes! will i link you to those bands right now, or at least tell you their names? no!
Throbbin Robin Bangkok: when i was 11 years old, my dad took me to now that's class for the first time. i remember the first time i squeezed my tubby adolescent body between bar stool and booth and punk, and my dad led me to the basement, which we in cleveland call "club atlantis." it is basically like the bar but theres no bar and you can basically do anything you want. one time cruelster recreated the hanging gardens of babylon and got dirt everywhere. my dad led me down, talked to some friends and passed me a joint. my eyes lit up with wonder - "a smoke?" - but my dad yanked the joint away, screaming in my face "youre fucking 11." the boys behind him laughed. i smiled because i wanted them to like me. the one who laughed the hardest, the one who grew the weed for the joint, well his name was throbbin robin bangkok. Throbbin. Robin. Bangkok. and yes we all know what youre thinking. youre thinking about penises, arent you. you are probably even thinking of your own damn penis. well listen to this song and you'll find out that it stands out because it sounds so damn good. it sounds like if iggy and the stooges did a split EP with the heartbreakers and the dolls and had bob marley produce it. you'll like what you hear and if you dont like holiday cheer maybe you should just listen to this song because it has nothing to do with any holiday and to be honest? i cant tell what the singer is saying.
Puck: you love anakin skywalker. you have an eyebrow. there is a shock of white in your hair. you are a misfit. outcast. leftovers. reject. you yearn for punk. well guess what aniston, thats what happened with puck. he was that misfit. in 8th grade, he danced and loved music. strong of irish heritage, he listened to dropkick murphys first, then later he got into the heavy shit like roger miret in the disasters. he wanted a punk cut instead of his bowl cut, so he gradually transitioned into it by styling his hair into a jimmy neutron type look. it passed off as a joke and he could do it in the hallway after mom dropped him off. all he had to do was place one palm over the other then rub his bangs vigorously. he looked wild, something like a wolfe. he was himself, but when his hair was wild and punk, he was puck. his holds would fold into mittens, he would suck in his lips, and pinch people. when he would pinch he would say things like "give me a treat." sometimes he would fix his gaze on you, say "acquire friend?" then storm over to you and pinch you, hard, while saying "friend acquired!" he had a faint british accent. when the boy who was puck grew to adulthood, he moved to the southwest for college, and has resided there ever since, aside from the occasional visit home. but puck has not died. no, instead puck creates holiday songs once a year. this one was influenced by a recent trip to latin america, hence the salsa influence. its personally my least favorite track on the comp but thats just because i know a garage band backing track when i hear one. his voice is heavenly as hell though.there you have it. i had a great time typing this all up for you guys so i hope you read it and tell your friends and stop reading books and start having more meaningful conversations with the police and the asshole firefighters who nobody ever complains about.
just to set the goddamn record straight, there is a radio show on 89.3 WCSB in the Cleveland area called "turbine piss" something, and they have NO affiliation with us and can fuck RIGHT off. actually its mike who is deeply involved with this label but he named his radio show after us and it dont make sense but deal with it. this is alex by the way
No comments:
Post a Comment